that's probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me but totally not true you know how everyone's been finding shit and then seeing what its owner is doing when they pick it up?
there's this guy who looks and sounds just like harlan, right? his name is newt and i got something of his and i just heard his voice so i thought it was harlan and he was doing something weird so i kind of panicked and embarrassed the shit out of myself. can i have the head trauma now?
[Okay actually he has no experience with this, close to zero, absolutely none. Romantic relationships are disallowed for him where he's from and he doesn't know the social aspect of this nearly well enough to have a legitimate and mild-mannered reaction. So he goes to the first place he can, powers through this like a champ. Be proud of him.]
So you explained the situation to Tucker and presumably he corrected your mistake. That doesn't seem embarrassing enough to warrant head trauma, though I may be a poor judge of it.
[EXPLAIN TO HIM the wonderful world of casual sex, that'll go over really well.]
I don't know, I've never tried it.
You know that I cannot be romantically involved. I have a curfew. I have a strict diet- though I make do with what I can here. A training regimen, daily meditation. My handler typically has a silver blade and bullet on his person but I have not been able to locate those objects here- I would give them to my superior if I did. I follow a dress code. We used to wear collars for identification but that was done away with several decades ago and replaced with the dog tags that I am not allowed to remove. Obviously, I cannot imbibe intoxicants. I cannot keep secrets.
[Which makes things... really hard sometimes, when he sort of has to.]
That is most of the relevant information, I think.
[It's... well, it's not exactly new for him, but it's rare enough that it's unsettling. The first person to care for him as vividly as Kyna- was a long time ago. Seeing the same sentiment again is disquieting for a reason he can't name.]
jesus, rome you're not a dog, you're a person i don't care what your handlers told you. why would it be dangerous? you died saving my life, and you just said you wouldn't hurt me like five seconds ago. i'm not afraid of you. i trust you.
[It feels very clinical to write it out. It's not a secret, it's not something that he keeps tucked away from anyone- it just doesn't come up, generally not unless someone sees the scarring. Rome can feel detached from the words themselves, he's good at that. It's going further that gives him pause, where there's an explanation behind it and he owes it after dropping that sudden piece of information.]
He cared. The way you do. I only knew him for three years. I
I was very attached. I didn't realize how much so until after he died. When I recovered from my injuries, I was court-martialed and demoted.
Nobody said those things before him. Nobody said them after him, either.
[There- it's simple, except where it's not. He can only deal in simple and so he keeps it there, at the facts in their basest form. Kyna will understand, he hopes.]
[She gets it, and it's heartbreaking. God, she feels so bad for him.]
i'm sorry
[And she's not good at knowing what to say in these situations, but she tries to picture Harlan or Lance, tries to think about how they'd deal with it. It takes her a bit to sort out her next messages, and she rewrites them over and over again before finally committing.]
you know that's not your fault, right? people should care about you. you deserve it. if he died saving you, i think he thought you deserved it too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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you know how everyone's been finding shit and then seeing what its owner is doing when they pick it up?
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[This is the worst.]
there's this guy who looks and sounds just like harlan, right?
his name is newt
and i got something of his and i just heard his voice so i thought it was harlan
and he was doing something
weird
so i kind of panicked and embarrassed the shit out of myself.
can i have the head trauma now?
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[He forgets if he's told her this before.]
What did you do when you panicked?
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why?
[But that's not the point, oops.]
i messaged harlan and someone else and then teleported to tucker's apartment like
immediately
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[That doesn't exactly clear things up, Kyna.]
Was Harlan in trouble? Is that why you went to see Tucker?
Wanting to help a friend isn't embarrassing. I would help any of you if you needed it.
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you're totally adorable, you know that?
but he wasn't in trouble, i thought he was
you know
riding the dragon
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[Those slang lessons really would have come in handy right about now...]
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tucker and newt were having sex.
and i thought it was tucker and harlan.
shit wait
you can't tell anyone that, okay?
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[Awk...ward.]
Were they
[Okay actually he has no experience with this, close to zero, absolutely none. Romantic relationships are disallowed for him where he's from and he doesn't know the social aspect of this nearly well enough to have a legitimate and mild-mannered reaction. So he goes to the first place he can, powers through this like a champ. Be proud of him.]
Were they utilizing safe sexual practices?
I LOVE ROME SO MUCH LMFAO
see that part
just tucker's ass after
which isn't new.
[Wait, that sounds terrible.]
because of shapeshifter shit not
oh my god i'm going to stop talking forever.
IM SORRY
[Poor Kyna...]
So you explained the situation to Tucker and presumably he corrected your mistake. That doesn't seem embarrassing enough to warrant head trauma, though I may be a poor judge of it.
NO DON'T BE SORRY
none of them are ever going to let me live it down.
btw who told you you couldn't drink?
<3
[Why else would you have sex with someone???]
My handlers. I live by many rules. It's likely that alcohol will lessen the control I have over myself. Therefore, it's- dangerous.
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he's definitely not.
[It's because he's thirsty, Rome.]
would it really make you lose control?
what other rules did they give you?
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[EXPLAIN TO HIM the wonderful world of casual sex, that'll go over really well.]
I don't know, I've never tried it.
You know that I cannot be romantically involved. I have a curfew. I have a strict diet- though I make do with what I can here. A training regimen, daily meditation. My handler typically has a silver blade and bullet on his person but I have not been able to locate those objects here- I would give them to my superior if I did. I follow a dress code. We used to wear collars for identification but that was done away with several decades ago and replaced with the dog tags that I am not allowed to remove. Obviously, I cannot imbibe intoxicants. I cannot keep secrets.
[Which makes things... really hard sometimes, when he sort of has to.]
That is most of the relevant information, I think.
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because sex feels good
[And now that that's out of the way—]
are you okay with that?
i mean, i know you're used to it, but
does any of it bother you?
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[Kyna, how about you learn things you never wanted to know about ALL of your friends!]
I don't know. I haven't thought about it. Routine is comfortable to me.
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i just worry about you, you know?
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People don't, usually.
[It's... well, it's not exactly new for him, but it's rare enough that it's unsettling. The first person to care for him as vividly as Kyna- was a long time ago. Seeing the same sentiment again is disquieting for a reason he can't name.]
I don't know how to react to it.
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you're awesome
it doesn't like
make you uncomfortable, does it?
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[Hey, he can't keep secrets, right?]
I'm a soldier. A dog. Growing attached is- it's asking for failure. From both sides.
[For all of his politeness, Rome's brutal honesty can be... well, brutal.]
I can't stop you. But I can strongly advise against feeling empathy or compassion toward me. That sort of thing is- it can be very dangerous.
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you're not a dog, you're a person
i don't care what your handlers told you.
why would it be dangerous?
you died saving my life, and you just said you wouldn't hurt me like five seconds ago.
i'm not afraid of you. i trust you.
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[It feels very clinical to write it out. It's not a secret, it's not something that he keeps tucked away from anyone- it just doesn't come up, generally not unless someone sees the scarring. Rome can feel detached from the words themselves, he's good at that. It's going further that gives him pause, where there's an explanation behind it and he owes it after dropping that sudden piece of information.]
He cared. The way you do. I only knew him for three years. I
I was very attached. I didn't realize how much so until after he died. When I recovered from my injuries, I was court-martialed and demoted.
Nobody said those things before him. Nobody said them after him, either.
[There- it's simple, except where it's not. He can only deal in simple and so he keeps it there, at the facts in their basest form. Kyna will understand, he hopes.]
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i'm sorry
[And she's not good at knowing what to say in these situations, but she tries to picture Harlan or Lance, tries to think about how they'd deal with it. It takes her a bit to sort out her next messages, and she rewrites them over and over again before finally committing.]
you know that's not your fault, right?
people should care about you.
you deserve it.
if he died saving you, i think he thought you deserved it too.
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