[He doesn't respond for a moment at that. There's the small spike of anger, familiar in its uselessness and he puts it away like he always does. There's something else too, a feeling he doesn't know how to name, something that seems like sadness, but isn't quite- and with some difficulty, he puts that away too.]
I see.
[Rome doesn't rise to the challenge. He's practiced in calm, even when he can feel everything but, itching under his skin.]
[She knows she's screwing up, and now she falls back to her familiar scrambling, trying to explain herself and right the conversation and feeling like there's no way she can.]
no god, i just i want to help you too if we're friends it should be equal, not i don't know
it's okay i'm just trying to say that it's that's the same reason i don't want you hurting yourself for me, you know? not because it's my job or whatever that other thing
[And she's not sure explaining is really making sense to him, so maybe this will.]
[He's heard it before, in different words, expressed in different ways- but the sound of it is changed. It's not that's fucked up, or how could they, it's just... this. It wasn't fair. It isn't fair.
Isn't it?
He takes a little longer to respond, because that's a lot to chew through.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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what if i don't want you to do that for me?
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Would you tell a firefighter to leave your home burning? A plumber to keep the leak in your tap?
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firefighters still care about themselves
you don't
[She knows that she should dial this back, but she's upset, and she sends it before she can stop herself.]
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I see.
[Rome doesn't rise to the challenge. He's practiced in calm, even when he can feel everything but, itching under his skin.]
Are you refusing my assistance?
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no
god, i just
i want to help you too
if we're friends it should be equal, not
i don't know
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[Which is basically what this entire conversation has been about, tbh.]
I don't know if I should have friends.
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because someone told you you can't?
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[He's getting a little more agitated- it's harder when it's personal, to keep everything at bay.]
Why is it so important to you?
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[Ugh.]
because i care about you, and you shouldn't have to feel this way
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[He understands that much at least.]
I can- I'll try to understand that. For you.
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you don't want me to put myself in danger for you because you think it's your job or whatever
but it's not just that, right?
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[To put it simply.]
I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry.
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i'm just trying to say that it's
that's the same reason i don't want you hurting yourself for me, you know?
not because it's my job or whatever
that other thing
[And she's not sure explaining is really making sense to him, so maybe this will.]
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[Not that she's really making it easy for him.]
I care about you too.
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[There's another pause.]
it really means a lot to me
you saving me, i mean
and listening to me and everything
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[This feels a little better.]
I apologize if I've made things difficult for you.
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you don't
i just
idk
what happened to you isn't fair
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Isn't it?
He takes a little longer to respond, because that's a lot to chew through.]
I understand if it seems that way.
I just never thought about it like that.
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i'm not trying to be pushy or an asshole or
whatever
i just wish you got how awesome you are, you know?
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Reliable, maybe. I'd like to think that anyway.
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but you're a bunch of other things, too
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and sweet and loyal
[Do you want a list, Rome? She'll make a list.]
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