leashed | IC Inbox for Hadriel

You were eliminated by Kyna?

yeah. you want me to bring you anything from the party?

No. I have already returned home with my prizes.

you still home?

Yes. There is some paint on the walls. I've been cleaning it off.

u think i should start tying myself up again

[ it's a question, despite the lack of question mark. and probably one that seems to come out of nowhere, considering how good he's been about it lately. ]

Of course not. I'm here to watch you.

[He doesn't really understand the sudden backtracking, but Rome's answer is straightforward as ever. If Morgan needs reassurance, then he's not the best equipped to give it.]

[ he doesn't answer, not until he's home. where is rome? because that's where morgan is going to end up, too - flopping on a chair near him in the kitchen, next to him if he's in the living room, across his legs if he's in bed. ]

Yeah, but what happens if I lose control. You're just gonna have to kill me.

[He turns when Morgan moves into the living room, tilting his head. Morgan definitely seems unhappy, but this kind of thing has always made Morgan unhappy. Rome doesn't quite know why he'd bring it up now.]

I've told you that I will do everything in my power to prevent that. I've been trained to take down wolves, but my methods do not have to be fatal.

[ he makes a grumpy little noise, the seriousness of which is perhaps undercut by the bright purple leather jacket that he's wearing. ]

I literally make everything about being here more inconvenient for you, huh.

[ and then he just kind of twists slightly, pulling his legs up on the couch with him and flopping his back against the side of rome's arm. ]

[The contact is odd- much like when Morgan had put his head in Rome's lap all those weeks ago, he doesn't know how to react. He stiffens up for a moment, turning his head to look at him.]

It's not about inconvenience. It's about protecting you and the others.

[He relaxes, just a little.]

[ sorry, rome: you deserve better than to have to put up with morgan's strange bout of self-consciousness and loathing. he sighs, rocking his head back against rome's shoulder and sort of just staring up at the ceiling. ]

Do you ever get sad? Is that an emotion you're like, physically capable of feeling?

[He tilts his head at the question, his brows furrowed. It's not that it's difficult to answer, but it's not something he enjoys admitting.]

Yes.

[It's a little quiet.]

I feel many things. Sadness is no different. But... [he shakes his head.] You have to compartmentalize, to do what I do.

What else do you feel?

[ he's still staring at the ceiling, a bundle of terse, uncomfortable energy. ]

I feel...

[He presses his lips together, conflicted. Rome has to think for a long few moments, before speaking slowly.]

I'm afraid. More than you'd believe, I think.

Yeah? [ the way he's shifting now seems to suggest that he's trying to actually get a look at rome, even if it's only a sideways one. ]

What are you afraid of?

I lack the structure I had at home.

[He explains, not meeting Morgan's eyes.]

I don't know what to do here. I don't know how to act around others- especially you. I don't have anyone who knows how to handle me if something goes awry. I don't have the other wolves in my squad, who know me and who I understand.

[Rome swallows hard. He wasn't exactly expecting ever having to talk about this.]

The freedom is... stifling.

[ morgan shifts again, expression flat and thoughtful for a moment. he slides down then, dropping his head back into rome's lap again. ]

You should scratch my head.

What?

[It's such an inane request. Rome looks down toward Morgan then, bewildered but eventually complies, bringing his fingers to Morgan's hair in a halfhearted attempt at a scratch.]

Why?

[ he shuts his eyes, turning his face toward rome's stomach. ]

Giving you some structure. What'd you win in paintball?

[Rome awkwardly continues patting at him. It gets a little more comfortable, and he's able to run his thumb along the outside of Morgan's brow, looking down at him with an expression that's thankfully less horrified confusion now and more just- curiosity.]

Several things. Chocolates- a jacket, like yours. A strange costume.

[He shrugs.]

Nothing that I could put to good use.

[ morgan stares up at him, expression carefully neutral, though he does briefly close his eyes when rome's thumb moves along the outside of his brow. it's not a bad response - he's sort of just savoring it.

he's gotten a little touch-starved here in hadriel. ]

I'll take your chocolates.

[ said very solemnly, like he's offering to take a burden off rome to himself. ]

If you like.

[He has no complaints about that- not that he doesn't like them, but he doesn't really feel any which way about them. Rome exhales, running his fingers absently through Morgan's hair.

And then, turning the question back on Morgan:]

What do you feel?

Stupid, mostly.

[ he keeps his eyes shut - partially because this does feel really nice, but mostly because it's embarrassing in a way he's not ready to admit to both say this out loud and look at rome. ]

Kind of afraid too, I guess? Lonely, whatever. Congrats, you're my therapist now.

I'm hardly qualified.

[It's said with a small trace of amusement.]

But you aren't alone.

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