god, rome. look, i don't want you to think i mean, you saved my life but i don't want you to think you have to like throw yourself on your sword for me. you have to take care of yourself, too.
I don't think that. I would protect anyone similarly.
Anyway, I should be apologizing to you. If I had been more careful, perhaps I could have lived long enough to prevent your subsequent death. For that, I am sorry.
[Kyna nods as she steps inside, shooting him a little smile. She wonders if he finds any of this weird, after whatever the hell happened a few weeks ago that convinced them they were best friends. They're not, of course—in all honesty, Kyna barely knows anything about him, but she's attached now. She can't help it, especially after he saved her life.
She pauses for a second, rocking back on her heels, then sets her bag down to hug him. The motion is a bit more hesitant than normal, but once she gets her arms around him, she squeezes tight, maybe just on the edge of clinging.]
Um... Are you sure you're okay?
Edited (edits this 18 times I'M SORRY) 2017-12-22 14:23 (UTC)
[And he hesitates. Rome isn't the type for lying, often times he's so blunt with his words that the idea of him being able to lie seems like a joke. He wouldn't be lying if he said he was okay, really- he's capable for service, he'll push through for anything required of him...
That generally means that one is alright, but it's difficult to say that with any degree of believability, given his exhaustion, his current injuries- the arms around his shoulders.
He returns the hug limply, nodding his head once. His tone is even and calm, even if his fingers are a little tight around her back.]
I was trained to endure. I'll make some adjustments- perhaps not a full recovery, but I'll retain the majority of my function.
[Kyna exhales. She doesn't believe him, not with the way he hesitates and the way he's squeezing her. It's weird to experience this role reversal—usually she's the one struggling with discussing her feelings while someone else has to push her. Is it even right to push him, though? She doesn't want to make this worse, and so she's quiet for a moment, rubbing circles on his back with one hand absently.]
Yeah, I know. You're tough. But if you're... You know. Upset or angry or freaked out... We can talk about it. You don't have to endure all the time.
[The contact is nice, but Rome finds himself pulling away before it goes on too long. Something about it feels vulnerable, like Kyna's concern is worrying away at a thread he'd rather not unravel. He can maintain resolute, he can endure- all that matters is moving forward.
His handlers had never been ones for indulging trauma.]
I've killed many people. On orders, [he clarifies,] but I've never... I haven't died before.
[Rome lets out a breath, shaking his head. That isn't it.]
[She lets him pull back without a fuss and stays quiet while he explains. It's a little hard for her to understand where he's coming from, but she's trying.]
Rome, you didn't fail. You saved me. I owe you.
[It's a good thing that he's not traumatized by dying, but she doesn't want him to get this in his head, either.]
God, I don't even think you stopped for like, five minutes when all that shit was going down. You didn't, did you? Do you know how many people you must have helped?
[He shakes his head at the question, not really understanding her point.]
It's my responsibility- it's not something that deserves praise.
[It's his job with the guard to protect others, and that's what he tried to do, no matter the personal cost. That's all that matters- Kyna is a civilian, it's possible she doesn't understand that.]
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i'm sorry.
are you okay, though?
i mean
how are you feeling?
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In one of your messages, you apologized to me. You shouldn't have. It wasn't your fault.
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about to keel over.
i shouldn't have even let you try.
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I was doing my duty, Kyna. There's nothing to regret.
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look, i don't want you to think
i mean, you saved my life
but i don't want you to think you have to like
throw yourself on your sword for me.
you have to take care of yourself, too.
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Anyway, I should be apologizing to you. If I had been more careful, perhaps I could have lived long enough to prevent your subsequent death. For that, I am sorry.
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that's not your fault and you know it.
where are you anyway?
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I'm at home.
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do you want me to come over?
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You can come over if you like.
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If you bring some food over, we can cook together.
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[And she is! She's got a bag slung over her shoulder, and when she knocks and he answers, she smiles a little.]
Hi. Um. I don't have a ton of awesome food left. Sorry.
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[He opens the door, stepping aside to let her in.]
I have a little food as well. We can combine what we have.
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She pauses for a second, rocking back on her heels, then sets her bag down to hug him. The motion is a bit more hesitant than normal, but once she gets her arms around him, she squeezes tight, maybe just on the edge of clinging.]
Um... Are you sure you're okay?
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[And he hesitates. Rome isn't the type for lying, often times he's so blunt with his words that the idea of him being able to lie seems like a joke. He wouldn't be lying if he said he was okay, really- he's capable for service, he'll push through for anything required of him...
That generally means that one is alright, but it's difficult to say that with any degree of believability, given his exhaustion, his current injuries- the arms around his shoulders.
He returns the hug limply, nodding his head once. His tone is even and calm, even if his fingers are a little tight around her back.]
I was trained to endure. I'll make some adjustments- perhaps not a full recovery, but I'll retain the majority of my function.
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Yeah, I know. You're tough. But if you're... You know. Upset or angry or freaked out... We can talk about it. You don't have to endure all the time.
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[The contact is nice, but Rome finds himself pulling away before it goes on too long. Something about it feels vulnerable, like Kyna's concern is worrying away at a thread he'd rather not unravel. He can maintain resolute, he can endure- all that matters is moving forward.
His handlers had never been ones for indulging trauma.]
I've killed many people. On orders, [he clarifies,] but I've never... I haven't died before.
[Rome lets out a breath, shaking his head. That isn't it.]
-I haven't failed in that way before.
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Rome, you didn't fail. You saved me. I owe you.
[It's a good thing that he's not traumatized by dying, but she doesn't want him to get this in his head, either.]
God, I don't even think you stopped for like, five minutes when all that shit was going down. You didn't, did you? Do you know how many people you must have helped?
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It's my responsibility- it's not something that deserves praise.
[It's his job with the guard to protect others, and that's what he tried to do, no matter the personal cost. That's all that matters- Kyna is a civilian, it's possible she doesn't understand that.]
You don't owe me anything.
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[She sighs. She doesn't know how to get this through to him.]
...It still means something to the people you helped, you know?
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[He can at least see that, and his expression softens as he considers her words.]
I'm glad that I was able to help- especially you. You've been a good friend to me.
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Thanks. You're pretty awesome, too. Just... you know. Be nicer to yourself.
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