Adstringendum voice mail

[leashed]

If you require my services and have tried to contact me without a response, I may be unavailable.

Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I am physically able.

Romulus Hart, 1st lieutenant

Comments

[voice]

[leashed]

A- werelion?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

No, Simba is simply a lion. He's never seen humans before today.

[voice]

[leashed]

...should he be apprehended?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

Oh, no. No. I...think he's adopted me, actually. He's young still, but I doubt he'll cause more trouble than any big cat his age.

[voice]

[leashed]

Adopted you? You are older than him.

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

Yes, but...well, have you ever seen a young child or a pup attach themselves to someone older? As a guardian and role model of sorts?

[voice]

[leashed]

Pups were assigned to older handlers when they were first brought away from the fields.

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

Different from that.

[Tybalt does not want to know]

...Simba has seemingly decided that we are pack, to put in terms we both understand.

[voice]

[leashed]

[Rome cocks his head to the side.]

Are you capable of dealing with a lion cub? They grow to be lions, and can be violent- though I suppose that males are less so.

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

He's a cat. If I push, I can tame him. I don't think I'll need to, though. I think he's still at the suckling age.

[voice]

[leashed]

And you intend to- nurse him?

[He doesn't know, don't blame him, cats, what the hell cats.]

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

[A long pause]

Rome. I'm a male.

[voice]

[leashed]

...yes, I know. But the way you said it- I don't know what faeries are capable of.

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

...point. I can't nurse a child any more than you can.

[voice]

[leashed]

Then how will he be nourished?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

He's able to eat meat, and if that's not enough I'm sure someone's managed to find milk they'll trade me.

[voice]

[leashed]

I believe Alphonse has a cow.

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

A real cow?

[voice]

[leashed]

A strawberry one. Do you think the cub would be averse to strawberry milk?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

I'm not sure. He doesn't know what strawberries are.

[voice]

[leashed]

How do you know that?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

They don't grow in his part of Africa, and lions don't eat fruits and berries so even if they did he likely wouldn't recognize the taste.

[voice]

[leashed]

You can speak to him?

[voice]

[notrequiredtomakesense]

He can speak to everyone.

[Voice]

[leashed]

...but he is a lion.